According to the Cambridge dictionary the definition of the word stuck is
‘Unable to move, OR set in a particular position, place or way of thinking’
So when you say ‘I feel stuck’ you believe that you can’t move forward and there’s a real sense of stagnation. Although feeling stuck can occur for any number of reasons, we’re talking here about periods of major life transitions. Because these tend to be when your sense of identity, confidence and decision making are most affected.
Although you may have no say in the external transition taking place. Fortunately, major life changes provide both challenges and opportunities for you to transform internally. However, whether you do is up to you. But where do you begin?
Have you considered why you feel stuck?
Have you thought about why you feel stuck? Perhaps initial feelings of regret, anger, self-doubt and bitterness etc. never gave way to ones of acceptance, peace, self-love and forgiveness. Instead they created the perfect breeding ground for lack of confidence, fear and low self-esteem to take hold.
You’re now stuck in the process of transition and need to find a way to get through. But you’ve been there so long you don’t know how to move on. Instead you find yourself believing ‘This is it for me now. I’ll never get another job, I’ll never meet someone who cares about me, I’ll never start my own business…’ Unfortunately, this line of thinking further exacerbates the problem.
Or perhaps you feel stuck, simply because you have no idea what you want to do next. Experience tells me this is particularly common with women who feel ‘it’s my time now’. But have spent a large part of their life putting their dreams on hold due to caring, parental or work roles.
Personal transformation through transitions
Thankfully, even when you feel stuck, it’s a metaphor. So you’re not literally unable to change your situation or way of thinking. Meaning it’s possible for you to continue through the process of transition, with the emphasis being on the word ‘through’. Defined as
‘Moving in one side and out of the other side OR continuing in time towards completion of (a process or period)’
Notice with ‘through’ there is a sense of direction, momentum and focus. This doesn’t mean you have to know what you’ll do, but it helps to decide how you’ll be. Recognising that during periods of transition, personal transformation isn’t tidy. On the contrary, it’s messy. As you make progress, then stall, fall, cry and go again.
But that’s ok, because there isn’t ‘one way’ or a ‘secret path’ through the process of transition. However, the foundation of how you’ll be, is based on understanding yourself:
- Who you are now
- Who you’d like to be
- Who you’re becoming
- Who you’re created to be
…and continually re-assessing your progress. This requires the courage to look at yourself honestly and allow vulnerabilities to surface. Because unless you’re prepared to challenge and champion yourself, while trusting others for support; you’ll continue to be and feel stuck.
It’s never easy, but it’s worth it. Are you ready?